Letters to My Wife before I knew she was a Narc

what better, stronger, practice than to lose your attachments as you lay down next to them

I would rather watch the boys at home.

I can be at the house at 10:45 today ahead of your 11–12 Therapy appointment.

I am glad you are doing additonal therapy. I have no idea how much you are learning or what you are learning, but you are definitely a very different person than 6 months ago. I would keep doing what you are doing. Put your head down and ke[

As you said you feel, “stronger” and this is exactly what all women on the planet need to be….stronger…. including you. I am glad you are stronger. Hopefully you can move through the woods more directly as you become comfortable in your own skin and your uncensored self blossoms. These are all good. I support them. I want you to find and gather the best most forgotten and unpracticed parts of you…. as I always have. It is hard for me not to be together with you, but these are the roads we are on, and we must respect them. There is no turning back now.

Today I can pack my bags for the time I need to spend at the Coop ahead of my bike trip. I can also pack for my bike trip, and get my bag ready for the WA trip even though I cannot think that far ahead. The boys can help me. My bike is supposed to be here today. It will gear it up and take the boys there with my panniers, bike pedals and other equipment I need attached) then I plan on leaving on my bike trip as soon as the bike is ready. There is not enough room for my pain/growth here.

I made another reservation in Chamberlain, SD at a hotel which is just off I-90. Pierre is 50–75 miles N of I-90. I still have that reservation, but Chamberlain might be easier for you.

Aug 1 depart Aug 2

Americ Inn 1981 East King St. Chamberlain

If you want to go the Northern Route

Aug 1 — Aug 2

Holiday Inn Bismarck, ND

Aug 2 depart Aug 3

Boseman, MT Holiday Inn Confirmation 25997397.

Aug 3 depart Aug 4

Wenatchee, WA Hilton Garden Inn Confirmation 3098718103

Jung’s perceptions are no different than Clara’s are no different than Chris’s are no different than George’s or the generations that preceded us…the only thing different is the depth of language different folks have learned how to use and articulate.

Relationship is not about happiness. Its about transformation. Transformation is about growing bigger, becoming more magnanimous, large enough to hold a relationship vessel for two or 3 or a dozen. Happiness is always transient, always slipping from our grasp. Though the original projection onto The Other (you, me, Pete, Sally,John,Travis,Tanya,Dan, BZ, Luke etc. etc.)offers the fantasy of happiness, reality cannot sustain the promise. Once the Other is revealed as really Other, not just the carrier of our projections, the troubles begin.

Transformation is about enlargement/growth and growth generally comes only from suffering. Growth invariably arises out of conflict and loss…. for consciousness only comes from the tension of opposites. Discovering the otherness of the Other can lead to disinterested love, the energy which incarnates through caring for the Other as Other, valuing and celebrating their otherness.

For those fortunate enough to find disinterested love, relationship is transformative. We are far richer for loss and conflict. We may even bless those who have hurt us the most for they have contributed to our transformation. We may even love them, allowing them to be who they are even as we struggle to be ourselves on the journey toward our own destined end.

I continue to love you and appreciate you and miss sitting down to dinner together. My bike will save me.

Thomas

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Thomas Wedge

Thomas Wedge

Honest Beekeeper, Romantic Poet, Interested in the Truth of my life and your life